How Well Do you Really Know Yourself?

I apologize for being so quiet recently and will explain in a future email. Much has been happening in my personal and business life and one tool that’s been an enormous help to me through this transition is journaling. I’ve been journaling for years but a few months ago, I took an online “Journaling for Self Discovery” workshop with my good friend Sandy Dempsey, founder of the Dreaming Café. The 4-week workshop. gave me fresh new insight into who I am and what really matters now. So, I’ve invited Sandy to write a guest post today and I want to encourage you to take advantage of the great deal she’s offering on the last workshop of 2009. Even if you’ve been journaling for years, you’ll gain valuable insight into your life purpose through this guided journaling process.
Thank you for the generous opportunity to tell your readers about The Dreaming Café’s 4-week online Journaling for Self-Discovery workshop.

I’ve been journaling for more almost thirty years. Journaling has been my constant companion. All of life’s ups downs and everything in between lives in my journals. I have stacks of them. They are wonderful documentaries of my life.

When people think of journaling a lot of times they think about recording the traumatic or painful events in their life. They turn to journaling as an outlet for their overwhelming emotions.

I’ve used journaling for this same purpose, but I’ve also discovered that journaling can be so much more than just a diary of pain; it can be a diary of joy. I discovered the power of positive journaling and journaling for self-discovery.

Journaling has been one of the main keys that have helped to me discover, and accept, who I am, what I am, what I want to be and where I want to go.

The things I have learned and the exercises I have used have been so life changing that I wanted to share them with others.

The Dreaming Cafe’s online Journaling for Self-Discovery workshop is designed to help you achieve greater personal awareness and establish a regular, positive journaling practice through accountability and feedback.

If you were doing these exercises on your own, you may or may not finish them. Knowing that you will post them each week provides accountability. Once posted, I will provide feedback and answer questions to help you dig a little deeper, or just provide a positive mirroring of your responses.

This online workshop is designed to prove a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere where you can explore who you are and what you want.

This is the last workshop for 2009 and will provide a wonderful foundation to meet your dreams head-on in 2010.

Journaling for Self-Discovery is designed to help you:

· Achieve greater personal awareness

· Establish a regular, positive journaling practice

· Identify & define your personal values and life themes

· Acknowledge the things you love and want

· Prepare to choose a dream or goal that aligns with your personal values and life themes

· Begin writing a Life Mission Statement

The next workshop begins November 22, 2009.

Since this is the last workshop of 2009 and to celebrate my Get Inspired Project interview (http://www.getinspiredproject.com/2009/11/06/day-37-sandy-dempsey/) I am taking 50% off the regular price of this workshop.. Use discount code GIP1109 when you register. Go to: http://dreamingcafe.eventbrite.com for more information and to register.

Thank you again and happy journaling!!

Warmest Regards,

Sandy Dempsey

Sandy is the founder of The Dreaming Café – A Destination Oasis on Your Creative Journey to Self Discovery.  If you aren’t already subscribing to her delicious Free newsletter, go here

Mudpies, Fingerpaint and Creative Block

A theme seems to have emerged among my entrepreneurial “peeps” recently about creativity, creative blocks and self expression.  Some of my favorite bloggers, Sandy Dempsey (thedreamingcafe.com) and Ken Robert (Mildlycreative.com)  have posted on the topic recently. This got me thinking about the art classes I’ve taught and attended over the years, the “creative” writing instruction our children are exposed to and how so much of it stifles our expressive flow. 

As a fine arts and art education major, I was immersed in theory and technique. While developing those skills was necessary in order to implement the images dancing around in my head, a focus on “getting it right” got in the way of getting the feeling down. As my work moved towards precision, it moved away from expression, became stiff and too cerebral. In other words, I spent too much studio time in my head instead of my heart. For me, the process of painting became joyless when I began judging my work on outcome. 

I realize that classic elements and theory in visual art, music, dance or writing are vital aspects of a solid education in the arts. I cringe when I read grammatical errors in literature. But how do we balance the mastery of the details with letting the creative light flow from our inner source? 

I recall a conflict with the director of the preschool where I first “taught art” in my early twenties. I used my alloted art instruction time to expose the children to elements of design, showing them how a squiggly line gives a different feel than a straight line and how muddy colors put them in a different mood than bright or pastel colors. I helped them observe how objects further away were less vibrant and smaller than those in the foreground.  Pretty complex concepts for a preschooler, yet they appeared to grasp the basics because we made it fun.  I showed them the color wheel and then let them “play” with mixing colors. Some of the exercises were eatable. Ketchup and mustard make orange. Add mayonnaise and you get peach or what we in those days so socially inappropriately referred to as “skin tone.” 

When introducing the kids to the works of different masters, I tried to make it fun and relevant for them. We had a Jackson Pollack morning when the kids squirted different colored icing all over white sheet cakes and then got to eat their “paintings.”

None of this went over well with the director who said she understood the purpose but wanted to please the parents who didn’t understand why their kids weren’t coming home with identical turkey crafts at Thanksgiving or gingerbread men at Christmas. We butted heads, I stuck to my guns and knew I needed to be self employed soon. 

Fast forward three decades and  I missed the creative process. I’d let it go, I believed, in the interest of earning a living selling other artists work. The truth was, I had stopped creating because when I tried to “do it right” it lost it’s joy for me. I enrolled in creative workshops with descriptions like “Intuitive Water Color” and “Painting from the Soul”.  The first day or so in these classes, I was able to get out of my head and connect more with my heart. the expression flowed and it was joyful. Imagines were forming on the paper, bypassing my head. I swear some of them emerged from deep in my bones, almost as if my DNA knew things I couldn’t possibly know. 

Then came the “sharing” and suddenly I was judging my art. In one workshop, the facilitator, a psychologist, had us “act out” our paintings. When I returned to the act of painting after that, the flow was blocked. I knew I’d have to dramatize what I painted and again became attached to outcome. Once I knew what came out of my hand would be analyzed, I froze. 

When my son, Todd, was young, he loved to write. His work had a fresh, open tone. Then an adult in his life began correcting his grammar and punctuation mid stream and he gradually stopped writing for pleasure. He also loved to go to the piano and just “play” as opposed to reading music. Then, lessons meant practice and correction and while he played well once he understood theory, he no longer “composed.” 

We’ve all known kids who after their first ballet lessons were discouraged from continuing because they lacked grace and poise.  I think about how different the experience would have been if the same child had been put in a room without mirrors and encouraged to just “feel” the music and move freely without attachment to appearance. 

I recognize that if someone is planning a career in the arts, it’s vital to master technique but what about all of us who were either discouraged because we weren’t “naturals” or eliminated ourselves from the creative game because we judged our outward appearance? 

Looking back over my teaching and learning experiences, I am convinced we should all spend more time finger painting, drumming on pots and pans and dancing blindfolded. 

What are your creative blocks? What puts you in the flow? When was the last time you made mud pies or painted with your toes?

Rediscover Forgotten Dreams, Rekindle your Passion, Renew an Old Relationship

Bookstores and the internet are chock full of resources to help you find your passion and  rediscover yourself. Most of us over a certain age have shelves lined with “rediscovering yourself in the second half of life” and bookmarked sites for “finding your true direction”. They’re all valuable tools and combined with live workshops and one-on -one coaching, people do often discover what makes them tick and develop a mission. But if you really want to get back in touch with forgotten dreams, the best source is an old friend, someone who knew you before you unlearned  what you already knew, before you traded in that innate wisdom for the knowledge of conformity.

I’m not talking about a sibling or life long friend you’ve kept in touch with over the years. Their image of you is who you’ve become. The most valuable source for getting back in touch with your core values is someone you shared secrets and dreams with before you you became the responsible, practical adult who put your own dreams on the back burner. If you’re fortunate enough to renew that relationship, you’ll likely uncover some precious pieces of the YOU that have been eluding you.

In the past year, thanks to the internet, several friends from my youth have contacted me. Since  I use social networking sites mainly for business relationships,  I don’t expect to see faces from long ago and definitely don’t go searching them out, so it’s a delightful surprise to hear from these long lost friends.

Because I had supportive parents and wasn’t pressured into being something I’m not, I believed I’d stayed pretty true to my core values and hadn’t really lost touch with my dreams. But decades of marriage and motherhood do change our focus and I also put everyone’s happiness and well being ahead of my own. I think it’s genetic programing. Even self actualized, liberated women can lose a piece of themselves while holding together a family. And connecting with people who knew you before career, mortgage and taxes skewed your life view, can trigger memories of buried dreams.

In recent months, I’ve had the fortune of hearing from a childhood friend, a high school buddy and a college room mate, all people I was close to but lost touch with in adulthood. These are people who knew me when listening to my heart and holding fast to my convictions was still a given. 

Two weeks ago I returned from “Follow Through Camp” with Barbara Winter, Alice Barry, Sandy Dempsey and my tribe of inspired change agents, fired up to recharge the part of my business I’m most passionate about.  As if to confirm that it’s time to focus on that dream, I found in my mailbox a Facebook  message from someone I hadn’t spoken with in over 30 years, a friend who knew me when I still thought of myself as an artist, a teacher and saw life as an enormous canvas on which I would color a better world .  The most valuable insights have been though late night emails about what mattered then. 

I’m not referring to romance here but to two people who are reminding each other of who they each were when making a living, making a life and making a difference was a given not an option. 

If you’re fortunate to have had a friend who knew you then, when your goals were to live from the inside out,  find that friend. If they don’t offer it up, ask questions. What do they remember you talking about?  Do they remember something you got so excited about that you could think of nothing else? Ask then to describe the essence of the YOU they remember. 

Short of finding your childhood diaries, this is the sharpest lens on who you were and the most direct road back to finding your true north.